Mr. and Mrs. Perfect partner does not existence in this world

Mr. Right

Mr. right

My mister right should be tall dark and handsome, he should be tall, masculine, white and handsome, his body should make every woman salivate when they see him, his teeth should be well shaped and white, his smile should be a number one killer when he opens his mouth, should have dark lips, he should have a super walking style, dresses nice, every suit he puts should fit his body perfectly, should have wills smith’s body, should have worked on his vision and be financially stable, should love fun as I do, should come from a family that has a name, should have built at least a classy house within this capital city, he should be an outing guy, should be a gentleman, he should be mature, should have a sense of humor, should be romantic, should be good in bed, among other qualities.

She should be totally beautiful, should be a black beauty, should be light skinned, should be white, she should be 5fts tall, should be slim, must have the African’s body shape even if she is size 14, should be size 8 with figure 8, should have a sense of fashion, should be classy and professional in all her art of doing things, should know how to cook, should respect men, should value men, should love life, should be fun, outgoing, should be able to challenge me, be good in bed, be able to give birth to beautiful kids, should have a mother kind of a nature, should be a wife material and more.

Find your imperfect Mr. right instead

But you can get a virtuous woman and a man of high caliber…… stop looking for a perfect partner and look for a righteous partner.

The lists can go on and on. I once met a lady who told me that she cannot marry a man who she described and wrote a list of the qualities he should have. That is how it is to ladies, if you happen to bring the man that she wanted when she was 18 to her when she is 23 she will not date him. They change as the knowledge increases.

There was once a couple’s seminar and attendance was so good. Every man with his rib listening carefully to the counselor. As the meeting was going on this counselor told them to secretly write the qualities they would look for if there was an opportunity to marry again. These men and women wrote things and when the guy read them and checked on what they had written, he tore the papers and told them the kind of people described in those lists has never existed under the sun.

You may wonder why? Well, we are all looking for Mr. Perfect guy and Mrs. Perfect woman who cannot mess or make any mistake. Who cannot do a wrong calculation or hurt a being. People write lists especially when they are young and talk about it in their meetings. Actually, this is one of the most interesting topics ever discussed by friends and youth groups.  Everyone wants to know the kind of a man you want date or even marry. Well, we go on and give descriptive qualities, which leave others in awe of whether that person is available or not. This mostly affects those who are interested in the person giving the qualities for the ideal man or woman.

The fact remains that we have to bear with one another in all things. You will never meet a man who cannot sin, make a mistake, or do a whole mess in a particular issue. We all have weaknesses, which bring us down at times. However, the best thing is that it is possible to get a person who can put up with it. Another thing is that there are some qualities, which are developed by a partner in another partner’s life. I once heard this man talk and said that he will not mind getting married to a woman everyone thinks that is ugly because he can make her beautiful.

That is a true saying. If it is her dressing which you do not like, then work it out. Dress her up with what you think is right and fitting for her. If you think he smells then let him know and bring him the solution. These things are there and you can deal with them. If you are looking for a perfect person then we are sorry because you will have to get the imperfect one and learn to bear with their weaknesses. Instead look for a righteous person.

Who Makes A King and A Man In A Boy Child’s Life

If he can lead a family he can lead a land.’ By Josephine Waisay

Make a king in a boys life

Boy Child’s Life

One of the most discussed topics in lady’s topic is ‘a gentleman’. Every lady out there is looking for a gentleman. A man who is handling a lady like a weaker vessel. Very gently. However, getting such is rare to be sincere. This man must have gone through the hands of a person who molded him to become that gentle man. Other titles which are actually used is what we have used on the topic such as a man not by title but in everything his being has and also a king. Someone who rules in a certain kingdom and he feels it and people sees it. In our post today, we are going to find out who makes a boy to be a king and a man.  This is because a man is actually made. Just like in the case of a woman. She must be nurtured into a virtuous woman not by nature but by someone.

The sayings that we know are totally true and has a lot of sense in them. Let’s look at them;

  • It takes a King to mentor a King
  • It takes a man to groom a boy into a man
  • It takes a man to man a man
  • It takes a king-to-king size a new king

We must have a man and a woman to help this young boy…. Read below…


Well, they are quite a number but we will still discuss this here and help you understand your role in making a king in a boy or ‘manning’ a man. Most of us learn from those who are near us always how to do things even before we get our senses to think and decided what to do. This starts when a child is young. He will not just come with a new style from nowhere. He must have seen or heard it somewhere. That is how we all learn.

For a boy to become a king there must be a king in his life from his tender age. Otherwise, where will he learn from? Actually, boys who grow with both parents benefit a lot from this or at times, they may get the worst of it. It takes a man of high caliber to make that small boy to become a real man even when he is still small. This is because the man figure or king is showing this boy how to do things and he must be doing the same for this boy to get some nuggets from him and join them in his senses to become the king. Most boys who have kings in their lives end up becoming better kings than their mentors.

The man maybe the father to this boy child, a mentor, big brother or uncles. They are supposed to play the whole role to ensure that the little man becomes a man and a king. If a man is not groomed, there is no way he can groom another one. This means a boy must have a groomed man in his life for him to be a man. That is why it is important for the single mothers to find some men of high caliber who can man their young ones in all ways.

If a man is not a man enough in how he carries himself and handles issues there is no way he can bring a up a man or king in boy’s life. This calls out men out there to be groomed if at all we are going to have men in the society who are real men. Otherwise, the society will remain toned as it is right now.

According to the bible, we see find King David giving instruction to his son who later became the king. He was instructed on how to carry himself and what to do. We need men who are instructing their sons in everything. Be a man in that boy’s life and make him follow your instructions when he is still young and when he grows up he will apply them. We also find Solomon the king telling sons to keep their father’s commandments and mother’s instructions. If your boys lack this then the foundation is destroyed.

A father or a boy’s mentor should know what is good for that young man. We find the case of Abraham in the bible knowing what is good for his son. He gives instructions to his servant on where to go and get a wife for Isaac. This means he knew what was the best for his son. Isaac had been taught by his father to obey the commandment and so we don’t see anywhere he is saying that he does not want that wife. This is because his father knew what is best for his son and he chooses the right person to go get the wife.

Now, wait for the part two of this next week as we talk about how a mother is supposed to man up a boy into a man. Don’t forget if he can lead a family he can lead a land, if only he is brought up like a responsible man.



Boy Child’s Life

Boy Child’s Life

Most boys like their mothers and they grow with them. Mummies play a very significant role in their life. That is why we are finding King Lemuel saying what his mother told him in proverbs 31. If she didn’t maybe we won’t be reading it. Boys talk of their mothers more and they are close to each other by nature. Therefore, when that boy is still your boy you need to man him up. Tell him what to do and when to do it. Actually, women know what to expect from a man and how a man should carry himself than men themselves. They know how they should be treated better than a man know how to treat a woman.

This means you can help this boy when he is still young. Let him know that he is a man. Treat him like a man and a king when he is still small. Let him learn from you much and allow him to spend time with his father, uncles and men who have qualities that you want your son to carry in him all the days of his life.

If you read what Paul the apostle writes to Timothy his son in faith in, you will know the truth in this. Paul says that Timothy has the unfeigned faith, which was in his grandmother and his mother.  From these two women we get to know where this young man got his faith. What has your son learnt from you? What will people say that this young man got it from her mother? Think of it.

We also find Samson’s mother being instructed by God on how to bring up his son as a Nazarene. Why not from his father? I can only guess this…. But it shows expressly a woman has to play a very significant role in bringing up his boy child.

A mother should be a teacher to this boy. Let him learn the fundamentals of life from you. Dressing, walking, talking and everything he must be taught by you. Any virtuous woman can handle such a task very well and he will produce a product that a nation is looking for.

We also find Hannah, Samuel’s mother taking charge over his son’s life. She gave birth to him and had already decided how his life should be. She took the young boy in the house of God and that is where he grew up in. Apart from that we find her taking care of him. He used to dress him. Every year he could go and take something to him. Mothers should also do the same. They should know what is right for their sons and give it to them. If your son’s dressing or character doesn’t please you as a mom then know it is because you made some fault in one of his life’s steps. Maybe you took him in a boarding school and forgot to instruct and mentor him.

Sisters should also help the young boy. The mother should teach them that this is not just a boy in the house. The man respect should be given to him when he is still young even if he is the youngest of them all. Let him be taught how to handle issues. Let him know how far he can go as the father gives limitations.

Going back to the story of Isaac you will notice that Sarah knew what was best for her son. He knows who is supposed to inherit the wealth and riches of the husband. She sends Ishmael’s mother away because she recognized the rights of her son. This is how it should be. Know what portion your son should take and let him know what belong to him and how to take of it. Do not let him waste it with women or friends. He must be molded into responsibility from that small age.

Be like Isaac’s wife who knew who was supposed to take what. She had wisdom and apart from loving Jacob, she knew he was supposed to take the blessing.

Mothers must be prophets of their son’s destiny

In the beginning of proverbs 31, we find king telling us that this is the prophecy which was given by his mother to him. It was ‘instructory’ if we may say and it helped the king. You also need to do the same to your boy child every day. Speak good things in their life.

If you are a virtuous woman, with sons or without sons, make every boy who come on your way to feel like a king. Remember if he can lead a family, he can lead a land. Thank you..

All comments allowed here below.

A Man of high caliber

If he can lead a family he can lead a land.’ By Josephine Waisay

There is no doubt that every man want to feel like a king at every moment but there are some things which will disqualify any man from being a king. A man of high caliber talks about a person who is of high qualities. We need to know what qualities these are and what makes him be such a man. In addition, there are some things which will make him not to be such a man. We will also be getting some highlights from proverbs 31 where King Lemuel was talking of a prophecy that he received from his mother. I wonder how many mothers give counsel to their sons or how many sons get it from their mothers and apply it.

Man on proverbs 31

A Man of high caliber

If you check on proverbs 31 Lemuel’s mother recognizes this son to be hers. She has no doubt and that is why she is careful to guide him. She goes on to tell him what to avoid. The number one thing is not giving his strength unto women. You may wonder what she had seen because she must have had an experience in her life or learnt it from somebody else’.

How does a man give his strength to women? This should be the first question that any man should ask himself. There are many way. Strength in a man is hidden in his manhood and we can say this is the stronghold of a man. If you don’t have it then you are not a man. This tells you that you should not waste it or rather pour it out to women. It is not to be shared with various women who come in your way.

It has to be kept for one woman who you will marry for reproduction purpose and this will produce a family. Any other purpose that this strength is used in is not appropriate and it should not happen. Apart from that strength, we have now the physical man that we see. What you earn with your sweat. It may be working on your body to make yourself look nice. It is not allowed for you to give it to any woman. Not every woman who should feel and enjoy your body. That is also part of your strength to a woman that you will marry.

The third thing is what you earn with your strength. That money, car, land, house or anything should not be given to any woman. This man has to focus and use it with the woman whom he will find and get her as a wife. Wait until you get your good thing. Enjoy your riches with that woman alone.

This man of high caliber should avoid drinking. Wine is not for a king or any strong drink. It does not strengthen you but puts you into your weakest point. The dangers of drinking are actually listed there. First, you are going to forget the law. What does the law tell you? That you should not give your strength to women. Once you forget that you will end up into giving in. you will get into waste and destruction and be in the path to perishing. Actually, it is written that strong drink is for them that want to perish. A man of high caliber will not get himself into this.

A man of high caliber will always be the mouth for the oppressed. He will not sit and watch things happen without acting. He will make the right judgment and after that get into the right track of helping them. This means he has wisdom in him and he knows how to apply it without compromising.

A man that we are talking about should have a stand. Should recognize himself to be a man and a king before any woman out there sees it. The kingship is always in every boy but it is him who has the ability to bring it up and to pull it out, apply and stand with it from deep inside. Once it is seen from the outside every other man, child or woman will see it and address that man as a king.

This is the kind of a man that any virtuous woman out there is standing, watching and waiting to receive in her life. Men, you have to come up. Bring it up and attain that title of a man and a king. However, you must avoid woman who have strange eyes. Those who want nothing else but to feed from your strength. Stop taking strong drinks because it is not meant for you. A man of high caliber will not have a heavy heart. He will always let go and so there is no need for strong drink.

If you want to be a man of high caliber, then get on your feet and act. Be that head that a virtuous woman want. Be a stable family man who has eyes for no other woman out there but the one in his house. Be a man of high caliber.

To All Boys, Men, Kings, Husbands And Fathers Out There! A Big Salute!

Qualities of a Virtuous Woman Continues

Let’s continue…

Well, friends we stopped on quality number five and that is where we will pick from. The main purpose for this post is to help us be this kind of a woman we all desire to be. It is possible as long as we have that willing heart and we practice. People have actually responded very well on this post and as we continue you are going to love it all.

  1. She invests
woman of virtue

virtuous woman

Most women will find some piece of land being sold somewhere and will take that as man’s business and not theirs. Here we find a woman who sees a land and puts it into consideration. She chooses to buy it. Actually, she doesn’t go to the husband to ask for money but buys it with her own money. After that she plants vineyard. With such a family riches and wealth will accompany them forever.

  1. She girds her loins with strength

It also says that her hands are strong. This means her lifestyle is one worth and that is why she is not worn out always. She also gets strength because she doesn’t just sit down and eat but she works hard. She takes care of herself and it is hard to bring her down with issues and failures.

  1. She is kind

This woman is compassionate and she does not turn her face away from the needy and poor people that comes on her way. She stretches her hand not to receive but to share with them.

  1. She is modesty

Her clothing is silk for a covering. This means she does not walk naked as most women would do and call it modesty. Actually, it says that she is clothed with strength which we can say it is in the inner of her and the second thing is honor. This shows that she doesn’t walk out and people want to close their eyes but will look at her without shame because she is well dressed. Her house is also well dressed with scarlet. Isn’t she admirable?

  1. She watches what comes out of her mouth

This virtuous woman will not just release a word from her mouth. She speaks with wisdom. She knows what to say, when, and where. This tells you that she will not have a mouth conflict with her household or neighbors. Gossip is always far from her and she is not abusive.

  1. She fears God

Her foundation is all set and rightly set. This is because the scriptures tell us that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. She has become successful because she has the wisdom and knows how to apply it in different areas. This virtuous woman knows the scriptures and cannot be deceived.

That is a woman who has Virtue in her. Remember we said virtue is being regarded as a person who has high values, asset and good quality. Who can find such a woman? The scripture tells us that whoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing. However, you might find another who is not a good thing but a spoiled one. We are going to talk about such a woman in our post next week and you should not miss it. The next post we will be discussing is the importance of a virtuous woman in a family set up.

Thank you for visiting virtuous woman blog by Waisay a woman who you will be meeting soon.

Women of virtue – Who could she be?

Hello and welcome to my very first post this year. It has actually taken me a long time to write for this blog where we discuss stories and issues to do with women and families. I cannot say that am a total expert in this. What I do is sit with women who know more and who teach things to do with women. Some of them have experience in different areas of life and so as they share they want to help us know how far we can go and how quickly we can escape.  At times, I sit down and listen to them talk.  it is awesome getting counsel from women who are above 50 years.

Proverbs 31 woman

Women of virtue

If you have been visiting this blog and following my posts you will notice that what am writing today is like a renewal of my first article, which I wrote some couple of years back. It still has the most views. At that time, I contacted several men and asked them who they think a virtuous women is and they told me…

Maybe you can check on what they had to say.

After that I wrote on the same topic. Now, I defiantly have more knowledge on this topic and that is why I want to share it with you mostly from a biblical perspective.[am a woman of faith]

Virtuous woman – proverbs 31

This part of the scriptures talks of a woman that every man who is, has ever lived under the sun want to marry and every child want such as a mother. All of us want to be that kind of a woman. Virtue comes with a lot of means such as desirable quality, high caliber, good value, asset among others. Mmmh!… just wondering of this woman who is called an asset. It is amazing. Now, the name woman has a meaning too except what you may understand.

The important thing about understanding is going to the root of something. That is why you go under first then you stand with the knowledge.  The word woman is a combination of two different words. The first word is WO which stands for womb. And we all know what womb is and what it is all about.  This holds or carried the baby for the 9 months. And that is how important it is.

The second word is MAN. This simply means a man who has a womb. Therefore, we can conclude and say that there is a difference between a man and a woman. A man does not have a womb while a woman has one.  Now, back to the track on proverb 31 woman. Who can not only conceive but also carry and hold the baby. What a strength? Woman you are important.

While talking about virtuous woman as per the Holy Scriptures. We find king Lemuel talking on what his mother taught him. It is amazing how it starts by giving counsel to this King. Most of the times we focus on the part of a woman alone while forgetting men who are as well spoken to from verse 1-9.

From that point, we find King asking a very important question there. Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. It continues to say that even her husband trusts her safely. Let us check on the determining qualities for a virtuous woman.

Qualities of a virtuous woman 

Who can find a Virtuous woman

For her price is far beyond rubies

Favour Is Deceitful, And Beauty Is Vain; But A Woman That Feareth The LORD, She Shall Be Praised.

  1. She can be trusted safely

People have trust issues. It is very hard to find a person who trusts another fully and safely, that you can share with them all your secrets and visions. This is because some will pull you down while others will condemn you for some other failures that you have had. Others fear that you might go ahead and inform another person about them. Which from that point will create a gossip. But here we find a woman who has this quality of being faithful to be trusted. This means that the husband can entrust her with all the properties because she will not waste/spoil but will make the family to prosper. This is not a woman who can do anything not for her own gain but for her whole family.

  1. She does good

See a pure heart in this woman. She will always do good to her husband. This means no evil thought will come out of her heart where we hide many issues and when it is full they come out. Doing good here means making the husband happy and proud. This is because she has a pure heart and she will not do good one day but all the days of her life. Every man will definitely look for such a woman.

  1. She is hardworking – She doesn’t eat bread of idleness

This virtuous woman will not sit down with neighbors and start to talk of how things are and who did what. She finds something to do with her hands. She finds wool and flax and she does it willingly. No one forces her to work or tells her do this and stop being idle. She is also this kind of a woman who would make things such as clothes/anything with her hand. It does not have to be necessarily clothes. After that she takes it to the merchants. This woman makes money!

  1. A Merchants ship

What a character? Her family cannot go hungry at any given time. She works hard and she can go far to ensure that there is food on the table for the children. This means she doesn’t have to wait for the husband to bring food on the table. Woman of strength!

  1. Early raiser

A virtuous woman does not wait to hear the birds of the air sing for her to rise up and prepare her family for the day. This woman wakes up early and prepares meat/food to her family/household and she prepares a portion for her maidens. Woo.. It is amazing. Imagine a woman who wakes early to prepare something for her servants. She has such a great heart. How many women will do this? Some actually will sleep well and give orders while they are still on bed because they have servants. Very bad!

To be continued

Well, we will continue with the qualities of a virtuous woman in the next post. Keep watching for more and let us learn until we attain that title of being called virtuous women.

Importance of a virtuous woman in a family set up

Hello friends, in the previous post I had promised to talk about the importance of a virtuous woman in a family set up. The first thing which I would like to highlight is what the word family set up means in this post. This means she is the woman of the house, a wife, a mother and overseer of every family activity under the head who is the husband. She actually has more strength to work because most of the duties it is her who has to carry. In the last post that I did last year talks about this woman being the body organs and so she has to be the hand, leg, eye, nose and any other part that you have.

Modern woman who applies proverbs 31

Modern woman who applies proverbs 31

Woman being the backbone of any family is very important and we are going to check on the same scripture proverb 31 what is the outcome of having all those qualities. First, you will notice that her husband is known by the gates. This man is recognized by the whole household. After the gate he is also recognized by the elders of the land. This means he has a position which is well managed at home. He attends to all his duties because every order he makes as the head is attended to. ‘If he can lead a family he can lead a land.’ By Josephine Waisay

This tells us that this man has become the head under a responsible body who is a virtuous woman. As they say behind every successive man there is a successful woman. He is also a responsible father to the fruit of the womb which is given unto them.

The children of her womb are also glad with their mother. They rise up and the find all things set, the husband the same and they call her blessed. Imagine your own children coming to that point of saying mummy you are blessed. Leave a lone that, the husband praises her. Most woman complain that the husband is not even noticing them or saying a word of praise unto them not knowing it is because they have not touched him in any way. Now you know extra effort is needed.

The husband uses very nice words, ‘many daughters have done virtuously but thou excellest them all’. That is a virtuous woman receiving words of praise from the husband.

Apart from that you will notice that she is also an entrepreneur and won’t eat the bread of idleness. She will have to find it with her own hands and the distance does not matter at all. She is ready to give the best to her family. That is what we would call commitment.

Her family is always in order. The children are together and the husband is there too. Such a woman will ensure that all the children know their position and they recognize their head. They are known and this is a kind of a family, which will receive praise from people.

If you want such a family. If you want praise and to make your whole family merry always, learn from this woman and you will not get it wrong at all. It is all easy to understand but it will take a woman of strength to apply this and attain that level of being called a virtuous woman.

Women Want Equality? – Fathers! Your Place Is Being Taken!


Women and equality

It has been know in our African tradition that men ought to be the head in everything. This is coming to an end as equality is being introduced to us by our mothers and many girls have come to embrace this. The place of man is being replaced slowly by slowly. Where is this heading? Often times have we seen in news women fighting for their rights. We are ok with women being women in the society and taking their place not that of a man. A woman is supposed to be the body of a man while man stand as the head.

However, this does not mean can’t be a leader in the society, it doesn’t mean women should not be educated , it doesn’t mean that women should not work in higher positions! All these are good and we are not against it. When talking about a man being the head this means they will have to think and come up with ideas, have to see things, hear, smell, look beautiful and be beautiful for women. On the other hand, a woman is supposed to be the rest of the body. This is where the functionalities comes in.

As a woman, you will have to turn this head [vision] to where it is seeing, carry it, bear it, drive, build it, walk in it. Note that most of the functions are in the body and the head cannot do. And this means the head cannot accomplish its duty without the body and so does the body without the head. Women has a lot to do at the end of the day. They have to be strong and connected to the head. This means every woman has to have a man figure in his or her life. This could be a father, brother, uncle or even a husband.

The problems that we are having in the world today are caused by women who are not functioning as the body but the head which they are not. Check on a woman who want to be the head or rather equal with his husband and see where they end up. Their dreams are never accomplished because there is no one to do the work of the body. Woman should take her position in all areas. This is supposed to be passed to the young girls as they grow. Respect for men should remain.

Nevertheless, there are men who are leaving women to be the head and to take care of everything. This is a huge problem having men who do not understand their position. We can call this as a great cause of the equality campaign in the world today. Every boy should be taught to be a man from his tender age and by the end of the day we will be having peace in our world.

So, what are we saying? Equality will not solve any problems as many people think but add more trouble in our families and the society will be destroyed. All men and women need to know is their positions and function. Otherwise, families will never stand in this world.


Girl Child Rejection – Are girls really important in the society?

How Girl Child is rejected from birth

Girl Child Rejection

It is very sorrowful that many girls face rejection before they are conceived in their mother’s womb. I have people discuss on how many children they would love to get once they get married but there is one thing which never lack in this topic. Would you like a boy or a girl as a firstborn? Definitely most people choose boys and it makes me wonder if people were the decision makers whether we will be having women in the society today. This already tells you that even before some girls were conceived their parent had already rejected them.

Another scenario comes in when both parents decide to get a child and they start wishing it would be a boy. Some men become so violent and change their character towards some children because of the gender. The worst thing which can happen is when a wife gives birth to girls without a boy. Upon the arrival of a girl child it is obvious some people do not rejoice like when a boy child is born.  This becomes the beginning of rejection in life and it can affect the life of that girl from childhood until they are put under 6ft on the ground.

Women are always their own enemies.

With the technology in the world today any person can get to know the gender of a child when they are born which is good but it has come with very negative effect. This is in connection of what we are talking about. After conceiving some women under the guidance of men or themselves are aborting babies who are said to be girls. Some women confess with their lips that they would not like to have a girl child in their lives while others say that they do not want a girl as a firstborn. Surely, why then were they born? What if their parent aborted them when they were born?

Are girls really important?



Girl Child Rejection

Girl Child Rejection

One thing is that there was no other way of procreation except through woman and every person who has ever existed or is existing on the earth were brought down by a Now that God could not say let there be Stella or Elizabeth but He had to do it using a woman. They are the ones who give birth to boy child and help them grow, learn and make them to be the gentlemen who they are.

There is no man who can be successful without the help of a woman. This maybe their mother, aunty, grandmother, wife or women in the society. They are born teachers on how to live life. They do it with a passionate heart that is full of love. Apart from giving birth, a woman can be a provider to a family of 10 children a lone and so they have strength even to build a nation. Should we then continue rejecting this beautiful creature called woman??


People have to appreciate the role of a woman in the society but before that women must make peace with themselves. It just starts from within and if they can accept the fact that they are women and see how important they are then it would solve this. Men have also the biggest role to play here by taking care of women from their tender age and to treat them like mothers. Women are Important. We need them.

Focus on Africa Women Today

Originally posted on Virtuous Woman:

Image024(2)African Women have been known of being enslaved to their husband in everything. This has been a good culture to follow and live in and many men look for such women to marry. The word equality which I don’t know whether it was brought by the western world has brought a lot changes in that there is no submission anymore which is causing a lot of trouble in marriages. Many women ‘ independent women’ has greatly influenced the world in this and it is not only in Africa but other nations.

Some years back we could see an African Woman waking up early to go do her work which is to serve the husband and children. They could do a lot of work during the day such as cultivate land and still ensure that their children are schooling which the husband could spend the day watching over the livestock or…

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Focus on Africa Women Today

Image024(2)African Women have been known of being enslaved to their husband in everything. This has been a good culture to follow and live in and many men look for such women to marry. The word equality which I don’t know whether it was brought by the western world has brought a lot changes in that there is no submission anymore which is causing a lot of trouble in marriages. Many women ‘independent women’ has greatly influenced the world in this and it is not only in Africa but other nations.

Some years back we could see an African Woman waking up early to go do her work which is to serve the husband and children. They could do a lot of work during the day such as cultivate land and still ensure that their children are schooling which the husband could spend the day watching over the livestock or even doing nothing much. Some would even go to office work and come in the evening but still find that their homes are well managed by one woman. The women who used to do office work could also manage to leave work and still go cook, do cleaning among other chores and family work. This is very different compared to the live we are living today.


Also Read.. Traditional food- do we still need it?


family africaIt is not a surprise anymore to hear that a woman has refused to do house chores because she has been working during the day. The same thing happens that many men are doing women work and cooking for themselves because women have refused their work. Now you wonder whether we really have women or all of us have become men. This issue is causing a lot of separation and men are therefore going out with younger girls and even eating in restaurants. It is true this is not a kind of a society which we want to live in and so change is required.

Most of women say that they are tired and cannot even cook for the husband and leaving all the work to the house help. One of the reported causes is the food that we are eating and the whole issue of equality since there is women who say they have also been working the whole day just like men are doing. But the big question is; is the respect of the name ‘man’ fading away? Yes it is. There is no submission and this has as well resulted to a lot of divorce cases.  On the other hand we can focus on the African Man and see whether he is still having such problem/. According to many women many men have not changed and they are still counted as the breadwinner and they are making it.

“With their efforts we can see potential into providing for the whole family in general especially when a women are playing their role well” this is one of the answers that I got when I was discussing with a colleague. I totally agree with him but still there are some men who have as well forgotten their duties. Once a man forgets his duties there is a high chance that the woman will raise up and take over the whole family thereby leaving the woman behind. This will not only affect the husband’s relationship with the wife but the father children relationship.

So, what can solve this? The name man has lost its value and it is higher time that it be taken as it used to. Let the respect remain and be taught to the children. Women should also do their family duties as required just like African Women used to do sometimes back. This will help in maintaining our African culture and the name virtuous women will be restored back to this beautiful continent. To wake up early in the morning, prepare your family for the day and to go to your work will make it all happen. And of course do it with love. The same happens in the evening when you areal back, do not be lazy woman! Be an African Woman- strong woman. Next time we are going to focus on African Men and see the changes they have embraced which are ruining marriages in Africa.

What women need to understand.

Women complain a lot about men and this is something that has resulted to family separation because women are yet to understand something about men. Talking about dirty mismanagement and laziness when it comes to home chores and how men left or display their clothing once the wife has arranged and such kind of things can make young marriages break so easily.


What women need to understand

Men complain of doing washing, cooking and arranging their thing. When they get married they do it with a mind that the helper will be doing all such kind of things and it will never bother them. Now assuming that, they become irresponsible in that field and they don’t care about it any more. Supposed you have married a lady who has been seeing you being very neat and clean every time and they think it will remain the same when you stay together in that institution.

No all men are like that but there some things that they have in common and that is they don’t like doing house work. Women should understand that men can be very irresponsible in the house because they are expecting that you as a wife will do it.  And if a man marries a woman who has this behavior, then one has to change or else quarrels will be every moment greetings.

When you think of the creation story, God created men from dust and dust is dirt. That is why men are connected to dust. While women were created from the flesh. Men will always have that mind of dirt in them and there is no change expected unless the woman brings it to them. There are parents who has taken care of their boys and they has become very responsible but they still have the same mind though that has added impact into their family life.

Men are made men by the women, what women instill in men’s life is what makes them the best husband and dad to that family and also to the nations leaders. If a man doesn’t get this from a woman, then the outcomes will be dirty. Understanding this will help you as a woman will be praised by the society because your family will reflect your personality. There is a saying that goes that all men are boys but not all boys who are men. If a woman plays her role in the marriage that boy will become a great man and men should also play their roles.

Can being busy cause seperation?

Family separation

Can being Busy cause separation?

Some may say no while others may say yes. But it depends on what one believes but if one has experienced this can give an appropriate answer, and this came about when i met a friend who regrets on what she did. Just reminded me what a certain speaker said at a time i attended  ladies meeting,  that women have now changed and they want to do men work or duties. And this gives me a reason why my friend was regretting of being busy working for the family and the husband had told her not to over work because he could make the ends meet for his family but the wife said no, i have to work.

She could not create time for the husband because of  work. And this was the cause of separation since the husband as you know how men are when disrespect or when they see like women/wives are not caring about them. He went on and married another lady who could afford all the time in the world for him.

The same thing happen to men who do not create time for their wives and children they always end up losing their family and mostly the respect they had. This is the greatest shame that a man can go through. And so we can be busy but we should be creating time for our families and this will make all of us proud. Let us be caring and live happily as we work hard.




This is a story given by a friend; I was walking down in the village and along the way I was thinking about this gal I was dating and she was cheating on me. She was always sending me SMS when time comes and I was busy she began to complain. When we were dating, her messages were …and this made me feel like she is the girl for my life, but one day I called her and she told me that she is married thinking it was a joke, she gave the husband the phone. I felt like I could never love again, but this was the beginning of the relationship which differs from one person to another and reasons for being in relationship differs, but this final destination is always one. Want to be loved, people want to receive and give a little bit of kit, this has made relationship to be taken as business. Does that sound like it’s not true? Okay lets narrow it to lovers’ relationship or boy, girl relationship. Ok you still want us to narrow it further. a relationship leading to marriage.

Many of us are either preparing to be in a relationship or we are already in one .if relationship is to work ,then some guidelines have been used to give the you last result or they are guiding you.
Many are the people whose marriage are in rocks or heated there because of the guidelines they were using.
Many ladies begin with a list of qualities. Likewise to my fellow men, but they have always forgotten that they don’t belong to themselves but they belong to their maker. For example, you cannot buy a saloon car and expect it to work of a pick-up. Every time we put characters as a guideline then we are hooked up with a wrong person.
It’s always good to let your maker to have a say in your life because you have a purpose to life for.

In the second point you must have good reasons why you want to be in relationship. If it is for fun, then when fun ends then the relationship end as there. If it’s to make children, when the business of making children gets to the end, then the relationship ends. If it is to have sex, then after sex you forget about your marriage and only remember you are married when you want to have sex. Ooh if you are in relationship for finances .ooh sorry because when money stop flowing the relationship stops flowing too. If you are marring a title, this title foe example lawyer will always be here but the partner will always be away.



What am driving at is that you have to let GOD in your life and in minor and major decisions of your life as you take time in your life in making decisions.

Friends there is a danger in engaging into a relationship for the wrong reasons .for you will always get hurt. Make a check list of what you want of relationship and if the big beneficiary in the relationship is you then you are going no where in that relationship. Love is giving out and it’s not a recipient so if you want to receive sorry you must give first and expect no return because this is an affair but not business. Go and make it ha happen. It is a principle you harvest what you planted.

I was talking to one of my friends and as we was conversing I can not remember where it all began but she promised to give me Gods way of calculating but it was amazing because it was 1+1=1 I did not stop there but I went back to the bible and I realized that the same formula is there and it was husbands. Love your wives as Christ loved the church, this turns to women submit to your husband. Dear readers if you add love and submission the result is unity when you love you should be ready to listen, care, fellowship and rejoice while submission is hard but it is easily achieved when you get determined. Submissions Commands love to grow. It can only work when the formula is followed to the dot. So there is no way out if one side is not performing its duty. Go try it out if the last result won’t be amazing.
I wish all the best in your relationship


Homes are started with a lot of love and affections supported by promises which give hopes and makes one to keep on going day in day out thinking of their spouse. Do we ask ourselves what really happens when people keep on being together ? They get their first born to the third born or even fifth and still love each other? Or do you ask yourself what happens that people who have been in love and have started it well are no longer together? This two status has been in many homes, many people do say maybe he or she was not the one created for me and many other thing.



There are things that makes homes to stand, first the love; maintaining that feeling you you both feel for each other makes it strong each day, respect and being submissive to your spouse as a wife keeps him coming or being near to you because he feels like a man who has the authority even if it is not outside there with other people but inside that house he is known to be the head., handwork as a couple without humiliating any side will keep your home standing despite what king of storm may attack you because is supported with love. Cleanliness even with no better clothes or a good house will reflect a good picture outside there and so it is very important for the mother/wife to put that in mind.

What makes many home to collapse is ; failure for the both not to maintain the kind of feeling they were feeling for each other, this is caused by disrespect, not accepting each other, arguments over small issues, lack of forgiveness, lack of money and not wanting any other party offering help like the parents and counselors.

When children come into the life of all couples it gives them the pride and this acts as one thing that can unity of separate them completely. One may parent may offer all love to the baby and forget there is/was my wife or there was/is my husband. But if both accept the present which is the baby and continue paying attention to each other all goes well.

Our children needs our time and we also do need our time and on other hand our parents say that we lost them and forget there were people like them, how about that? This happen to be a very disturbing factor in marital issues and it breaks many families. This is a matter of organizing yourself to avoid the words that comes out of our parents mouth, they can be cursing or blessing, their words has made many families broke up.

It is good to be a father and to be a father with your children calling your so and knowing that you are not a lone in the world but you someone to support or  to support you.

A good Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench
rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello”

WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes”

WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”

MAN: “Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much.”

WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2010 models. I saw one I really liked.”

MAN: “How much?”

WOMAN: “$60,000”

MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing . The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”

MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000.”

WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”

MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.” The man hangs up.

The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiles and asks: “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he’d given her. Then he married the one with the biggest tits.


From the beginning God created man with his own image, people really take it lightly but it means a lot, and if you violate this statement, dislikes a rises from r the head of everything but not necessarily everything with a positive attributes. He needs respect from the whole family begining with the wife and to all visiters who may get in his house . For children to respect the father, mother has to start it and to show the kids he is the head of the family.

When a woman becomes so naging that bothers the husband and it can make a man furious to an extend of doing something awful.Lazy wives makes their husband to runaway from them, when a man gets home n finds there no food, everything is not in order and the wife is not in the house,  he may try to look for some other ways. this show there are two heads in the house.

Dressing, talking and the way a woman presents herself before people can make the husband to leave for another or to stay with her. Dressing style goes on age, and the occasion that both are attending. Many women says that their mother in laws are bad but this depend on the kind of a person you show them you are by dressing and talking, this gives the husband honour to the family or shame. And no man likes this.

The children has to be brought up in a good ways and their picture outside and inside the house should represent the parents, this mostly should be done by both parents. It is their responsibility to make sure those kids are  well fed, dressed, mannered and educated. Good behaviors are worth for the family and should be set while kids are still small. And that family will be honored and the wife of that family shall be called A Virtuous woman and the man an Honorable man.


Women are the backbone of any society yet they are always looked at as the weaker sex.

God have never used anything  strong to change the world but He has always used the weakest of all. When Samuel was anointing David, All his brothers came and they had the strength  that would been needed by Kenya armed forces  or any other forces would have looked for the character that Davids brother had,but this was not the case with God. God look for different characters which we are mostly women kind of characters. for instance humble,submissive,loving, among others.

God was aware that man was the crude being but women were fine being . God had power to bring Jesus in another form of an already Big man  but He made Him to be born by a woman to show the significance of a woman ion the society.

Women you are a pillar in our society a pillar that can not be ignored but all together you have left it in the hands of the devil claim it.

Men love this women as Jesus loved the church.Remember ,Jesus forgave the church and loved it with out revisiting the wrongs but always loving them.Love them unconditionally.

Women submissiveness melt the hard hearts, be submissive and do it for the glory of your Maker.

Reason why women were created.

women!women!there are various reasons why women were created fro since time in it dates back from history with different types of evidence ranging from religious to scientific evidence.obviously one of the major  reason as to why a woman was created is that woman was created to offer companion ship to the man counter part.this is evidently from the bible when God created all things and at last he created man but it so seems the man was lonely and God create woman to keep the man away from loneliness.from a scientific view women are know to do more than one thing a time this give them a higher  social responsibility being able to react to different stimuli at simultaneously giving them a upper hand in reacting to situations.from this perspective a woman is given a great role in society in terms of naturing  and giving back to mother nature.

women are a sign of continuity in any environment.a society with a healthy women society has a high chance of success while the contrary is add on women fulfill the natural cycle of growth.they bring up young ones in a more effective way that men do not.imagine a society without women how would the children be?lastly women are beautiful creation  that the world has ever seen.yes they are and they make a world a better place.

Who is an honorable man and can he be found?

But the question is can we get one of this men who is honorable and dependable in terms of family matters, and who is he if a description has to be made: An honorable man is the one who feels he a man and appreciates the fact that he is a man and has total respect to himself. Who is kind,polite hardworking and caring. This is seen by how he handle himself and cases to do with anything surrounding. I believe he is the kind of a person who everyone would like to be with in every situation because of his maturity.Note well that this has nothing to do with money like many would say but respect speaks for himself . And he will be call an Honorable man in every society.

According to what many ladies say about men it is impossible to get one, infact men are being referred to as animals, depending on how they treat everyone in the society, but this word came with just one or two people who maybe saw the side of  animosity of men and they decided to call them so. This is something that has made many ladies fear men and marriage in their life.

Now we know that in every society if we can see some of the above qualities that describes who honorable man , he is in deed an honorable man.And yes honorable gentlemen can be found.